It’s 18: 50 PM, and I am now standing at my desk, taking small sips of my first coffee of the day; for the first time in a long while, I am grateful for it.
Every drop of caffeine, its rushing trough my veins at a speed that awakens my lethargic body.
After standing on no water nor food, from 3:00 AM, with just a short nap, my brain is overwhelmed with the power of caffeine, now about to take over.Thousand of neuronal connections, are now electrifying, watering the dry fields of my brain, creating a mix of anxiousness and vigilance.
3 Hours ago…
My brain starts having difficulties concentrating: It’s hard to focus, so I am lying down, trying to fool myself that I am sleepy.
My confused body, its getting dehydrated fast, and now rends itself, prisoner under the chains of my mental struggle. It suppose to be hard but still, I thought I will be able to continue my normal routine.
It’s not the case… The best I can do on my Ramadan baptism, its to apace my body and wait, distract my mind from counting the seconds. I wish I could read, but my mind its too obsessed with food fairy -tales. My lips are dry and I start coughing, I haven’t staid before without water for more than 1 hour or 2
However, I try to center myself and remember that the whole purpose of fasting is overpowering your mind, your instincts and habits; becoming the master of your mind and body.
OHHH, You were thinking you are in control, didn’t you ? you decide when you eat and sleep, when you buy or watch something…
Well, not really!… you are taking those decisions, in an unconsciousness attempt of satisfying your deeper instincts. And the worst part is that some of us, don’t even realize that those instincts are keeping us from functioning at out full potential.
And while I am not saying we should prohibit ourselves life-pleasures at all times, once in a while, a detoxing diet, both physical, mental and spiritual, will make us conscious and more in command of our Earthy beings.
Today I did it, but costed me…my inner beast fought with me, proclaiming it’s rights…and today I won!!!
At the end of the day, when the time has come to break the Fast, after 14 hours without food or water, my hunger was still there, but my mind was grateful and in peace!!!